Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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