woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
