Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
