I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
third nipple confirmed
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
