Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
