talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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