i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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