You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
