i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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