so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
