he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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