In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
