are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
