So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize