I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This baby is an asshole
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
