spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
