it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
