just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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