My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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