I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
