Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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