I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
