I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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