just come out here and I will go home with you...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Are we still banned from the library?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
