butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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