its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
