1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
