just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
