Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
