ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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