you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
why do cheetos always look like penises
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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