Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
