READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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