i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
