didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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