I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
