Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize