Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
