what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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