i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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