You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
