I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
