with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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