every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
