don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Vodka?
Forever.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
