Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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