BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
