He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize