I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
