I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
