Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
