Umm I'm too high to move.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
