1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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