Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
