that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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