fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
