Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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