He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize