I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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